


winds of fortune

by foolondahill17



Series: carry on 'verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Domestic, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Healing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25829515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolondahill17/pseuds/foolondahill17
Summary: God dies. The Winchesters save the world, again. And now there’s the After. There’s loss, grief, and despair, but there’s also moving on, building homes, growing gardens, learning how to survive without a script, and, ultimately, choosing to live. Turns out, you can fit a helluva lot of life into “what comes next?”A collection of moments, sad and sweet, frightening and hopeful. Team Free Will 3.0 gets the happily-ever-after they deserve.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: carry on 'verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680373
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	winds of fortune

**Author's Note:**

> Here are a bunch of random bits and bobs that didn’t make it into “carry on” or “surely heaven waits.” They aren’t in chronological order, just posted whenever the mood strikes. 
> 
> I promised this a while ago, but I got swamped with some other projects (hint, I’m participating in my first ever DCBB…stay tuned) and totally forgot to post it. Hopefully more content will be coming soon.

_One month after_

Eileen retreats to Ireland for ten days because apparently being dead for two years and then coming back to life threw a couple wrenches into the handling of her dead mentor Lilian O’Grady’s estate. Sam and Dean talk about going down to Texas for a salt and burn – something Dean insists will be a milk run, but privately Cas thinks is still too soon; the brothers deserve a vacation. But Cas is afraid of protesting too much in case Dean gets upset at him and demands to know whether Cas has suddenly lost faith in their abilities. Instead, Cas lets them leave. 

Jack is just one week out of bed. He’s still wobbly, pale, and too thin, but he’s at least stopped spouting random nosebleeds at a moment’s notice. And he wants to visit his grandparents’ graves. 

Cas doesn’t think it will be helpful to point out that the graves are, in fact, empty. That Chuck disintegrated Jack and Helen Kline into little more than piles of ash. Ash that was lost in the epicenter of the blast that destroyed Chuck and Amara, ate away Jack’s Grace and nearly the boy, himself. Instead, Cas contemplates the eleven-and-a-half-hour drive to Dubois, Wyoming, wondering whether Jack will be up for the trip. 

“I’d like to say good-bye,” Jack says simply. “They never even knew who I was.” 

So, Cas says yes, on the condition Jack attempt to sleep at least some of the way there. 

Cas pulls off at a grocery store before they arrive at the cemetery to buy a bouquet of flowers, and he answers Jack’s raised eyebrows with, “It’s customary to leave flowers or other tokens of love on a gravesite.” 

When they arrive at the cemetery, Jack carefully places the bouquet next to the headstone. It was erected there by one of Helen’s cousins, Cas believes, and it reads _Jack Benjamin Kline, 1945-2020_ above _Helen Elizabeth Kline, 1948-2020_ , followed by the legend, _Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest_.

“Will she be able to tell them about me?” Jack asks. He clarifies, “My mother.” 

“Heaven is…” Cas searches for the right words. “It’s more self-contained than that. They will see her, but it won’t be the same soul you visited. It will merely be a memory.” 

“Oh,” Jack says. He sounds disappointed. Cas wishes he’d said something else. Something better. Jack demands so much from Cas that Cas doesn’t feel capable of giving, but he vows to do better. Every day he tries. “So….” 

Jack doesn’t continue. Cas doesn’t know how to ask him to. How to tell him it’s alright to speak. 

“What about Mary?” Jack says, very quietly. It’s the kind of voice Dean uses when he doesn’t quite want someone to hear him, yet he’s clearly desperate for reassurance. 

“What about her?” Cas says gently. 

“Will she…” Jack hesitates. “Know about me? Will she understand that what I did…I didn’t mean to.” 

“I think she knew that the second it happened,” Cas says, trying to inject every ounce of certainty he can into the statement. Everything he knew of Mary Winchester pointed to how fiercely she loved and trusted her boys. And Jack was one of her boys. 

Jack doesn’t reply. He stands silently, looking at his grandparents’ headstones. It is impossible for Cas to discern his thoughts from his expression. Cas acts on impulse: he slings an arm around Jack’s shoulders, and, hesitantly, he presses a kiss to the side of the boy’s head. 

“What was that for?” Jack asks, eyebrows creased. 

“Humans use it as a gesture of affection or comfort,” Cas explains.

“Oh,” Jack says, and smiles faintly. He relaxes under the weight of Cas’s arm. Cas has often found it difficult to communicate effectively using only human language. Touch, he finds, is so much more useful at conveying care. Concern. Love. 

“Now that we’re…human,” Jack begins, and every time Cas remembers, a little more of him hurts, but a little more of him heals. He misses his Grace. He misses his connection to the Host. He misses so much about being an angel. 

Yet humanity, he thinks, is not all bad. 

“Will we die?” Jack finishes. “Just like normal humans?” 

“I can’t be sure,” Cas answers. “But I think we might. Yes.” 

“I don’t think that will be terrible,” Jack says. He stoops slightly so he can trace the letters of his grandfather’s name, _Jack Benjamin_ , with his finger. “That way we won’t have to be the last ones left.”


End file.
